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The Joke Being​.​.​.

by Dan Clifford

supported by
Mark Ilao
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Mark Ilao With the killer guitar solo in 'record store', the goldilocks clap in 'tentatively optimistic', and the thundering 'whimpers' of the solipsistic suite, Dan Clifford tells the story of the innocent lover who is ultimately crushed by the chords of uncertainty, loneliness, and isolation despite some notes of hope. Favorite track: record store.
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1.
second date/careless 02:14
lyrics
One day, I’ll get a second date I hope… that I’m not too late! Is it something about me? I wish I could see But I lack Self-awareness Wish that I weren’t So careless One day, someone will like me first Maybe that’ll make things worse My ego could inflate And then seal my fate But instead I’m embarrassed Wish that I weren’t So careless
2.
record store 02:43
lyrics
In the darkest corner of the record store they met at She tells him that he’s immature and I don’t think he’ll forget that Are they breaking up now? They knew it’d happen somehow Just not in such a public place “You hurt me” it’s written on his face It seems their future’s gone without a trace “But no matter what, I’m still in love with you” She just rolls her eyes at him when this he tries to tell her Their chance of survival’s slim it's not quite on that bell curve Their lack of communication Results in so much frustration Causing both of them to sigh He looks like he’s about to cry So instead he looks up at the sky No matter what, he’s still in love with you After all we have accomplished I wish that we’d been more honest Honest So no matter what I’m still in love with you [killer guitar solo] She just walks out the door Leaving… him on the floor Maybe he could get up someday He’s hurt now but he’ll be okay It was bound to happen anyway But even so he’s still in love with you
3.
time of need 03:06
lyrics
Thought that I knew you well Yet I never could tell How you felt about me And now my broken heart Tells me that it’s not smart I should just leave you be But I miss you Could have kissed you When I had the chance! I’ve always wished you loved me Now I hope you’re thinking of me In your time of need When I first saw you I Almost started to cry You were perfect to me Maybe you always knew How I felt about you It’d be worth it to see Is it too late? Is this my fate? To have no romance (Bridge): Cuz without you I might Think about it tonight Is this my last dance?
4.
the joke being... 02:28
lyrics
(The joke being) that you’d ever love me (The joke being) that you’re thinking of me (The joke being) that you care about me (The joke being) you can’t live without me, no (The joke being) I don’t irritate you (The joke being) that I don’t frustrate you (The joke being) you can even stand me (The joke being) you won’t reprimand me, no I hate when I get like this But still the feeling persists If I think that you might like me My brain decides to spite me But this conclusion Depends on the delusion That you think I’m worth a damn And that’s why I am… (The joke being) I’m engaging to you (The joke being) not enraging to you (The joke being) that I lack self-pity (The joke being) that I can be witty, no (The joke being) you would solve my issues (The joke being) with more than just tissues (The joke being) that you wouldn’t hate me (The joke being) and continue to date me I wish I’d just befriend her Or any of her gender Instead I blame society For my own impropriety But this straight, white male stuff Is more than enough To derail any train And so I remain Unable to cope So pessimistic and yet full of hope I thought that I had friends And so I have always been The joke being...
5.
isolated 02:24
lyrics
She feels trapped inside her head She doesn’t know if she should feel alive Or dead She feels ensnared by circumstances Conspiring to crush her, she decides to take Her chances She’s been feeling so isolated Worse than she’d anticipated People tell her she will get through it Even when she tells them that she can’t Do this They don’t believe her and send her to school Where being an outcast is a constant And a rule She’s out of print at your record store They don’t make people like her anymore I don’t know why anyone says “Your teenage years are your best!” Wish that I could show them how She is feeling right now [SOLO] She hopes that she will get by It’s so hard not to want to die Instead she’s deadened So she won’t feel threatened But this all won’t last you see Until the next catastrophe It’s all temporary And that is scary
6.
tentatively optimistic 03:23
lyrics
He walked right the door Of that brand new vintage store When he saw her sitting there Just playing with her hair AND IT SLAYED HIM He wanted to talk to her Or even walk to her Sometimes it causes pain But on that day - his brain IT OBEYED HIM So it seems to him this day Things will surely go his way For once He’s op-ti-mis-tic Although He’s so-lip-sis-tic And so He’s wrong about this Ignorance is bliss She’s thinking “who’s this jerk? Who waltzes into my work Thinks he’s so full of charm When I've got more in my arm Than his... whole body!” “I’ve heard this song before Don’t like it any more Why do they feel entitled Then end up being spiteful It’s so... haughty” I swear if he asks me out I’ll say no without a doubt [chorus] Though I decry it I’m just like him I can’t deny it Cuz I’m a SWM
7.
you're going to be fine (you jackass) 02:50
lyrics
Got a date with a girl Guess I'll give that a whirl Not quite sure how it will go I feel hopeful despite my thoughts Tying my stomach into knots I just hope it doesn’t show What I’m unsure about’ Is if it will work out And that I can’t know You’re going to be fine… Going back in a few weeks Everything should not look bleak But to me it all does I can’t help how I think But I feel I’m on the brink Of something.so much worse It’s so difficult to Have to find something new And it feels like a curse And now I’m home But I’m still alone And trapped in a bind
8.
lobotomized 02:16
lyrics
Now I’m back in Texas Which spawns worries in excess It’s been so long since I’ve seen her But I’m feeling so alone So I hide behind my phone And a perfectly aloof demeanor It’s really not complicated I feel quite eviscerated A long way of saying that I feel blue Without you I feel crushed by the modern world And my crushes on many girls They give me so much to write about But when I can’t even try And want to lay down and die It’s harder to figure out what to do Without you Bridge: You give me A purpose Without you I’m worthless So I feel pretty low And I’m not sure if you know Just how much you mean to me I’d like to tell you now But I am quite unsure how In any case I don’t know what I would do Without you
9.
the solipsistic suite: uncertainty 02:09
lyrics
I used to feel alive Sometimes It may seem like I’m happy But I’m Not sure if I can take this Anymore I’m not sure what the future Has in store My future is so hazy And I don’t know If I am going crazy Cuz it seems so I’ve lost both my direction And my drive I can’t deal with rejection And still thrive Uncertainty Has grabbed hold of me And I don’t know If it’ll let go Used to I used to feel alive Uncertainty Has grabbed hold of me And I don’t know how I’m gonna get out
10.
the solipsistic suite: lonely weekend 02:34
lyrics
Another lonely weekend Spent in my room If I die here right now this Would be my tomb Don’t know how I survive Without you Don’t know how I stay alive Can’t get out of this well It’s my own living hell But just like Sisyphus I’ll keep going if I must Maybe you’re Behind your door Maybe I Shouldn’t even try Either way I feel terrible Another lonely weekend Spent in my room I’m so tired right now I feel consumed Don’t know how I survive Without you Don’t know how I stay alive Woke up late in the day No one to see anyway Try to get out of bed And push these thoughts from my head I know you’re Not at my door Maybe I Shouldn’t even try But that hope Is all that keeps me going Another lonely weekend Spent in my room If I die here right now this Would be my tomb Don’t know how I survive Without you Don’t know how I stay alive
11.
the solipsistic suite: ending on a whimper 03:05
lyrics
Guess I’m ending on a whimper Cuz I don’t know how else It’s the end of December All my gifts on the shelf It’d be so much simpler If I did it myself BRIDGE: And there is no way That you can help me now I’ve been trapped by uncertainty This is my way out

credits

released September 15, 2015

All music written by Dan Clifford except “Record Store” by Dan Clifford & Landry Levine, and “The Solipsistic Suite: Ending on a Whimper” by Charles Hankins, Landry Levine, and Dan Clifford. All lyrics by Dan Clifford, unless you think they suck, in which case they were random word-associations from a discarded dictionary found in a puddle on Guerrero Street.
Drums by Hydrogen.
Bass, various guitars, fart noises and vocals by Dan Clifford. Additional vocals on Record Store by Landry Levine. Theresa Clifford said “who’s this jerk?” on Tentatively Optimistic.
Tracks 2, 3, 7, and 8 recorded at Jack Daniel Studios, Athens, GA. Tracks 1, 4-6, 9-11, and additional work on 3 recorded at Clifford Manor, Keller, TX. Track 4 guitar and track 3 backing vocals recorded at The Red Room, Arlington, TX. Vocals were recorded at all three on the rare occasions I felt like singing.
Produced by Dan Clifford. Bass and acoustic guitar lent to Dan Clifford by Saif-Ullah Sufyan Ahmed (tracks 2, 3, 7, and 8) and Landry Levine (track 4, acoustic guitar only).
Cover photo by Cheryl Clifford, probably.
I'd like to thank MY FAMILY above all, as well as Landry & Charles for their patience and help with this record, Carter Fraser & Annie Ho for font criticism, my cool cat cousin Cory Clifford for inspiration and guidance, Leon Munive for handling me at some of my worse times, and Saif S. Ahmed for visiting me in Texas this summer and then being in England when this record comes out.
It is the opinion of the Dan himself that this record would not have been possible without the enthusiasm, encouragement, and lack of irony displayed by Mr. Mark Ilao.

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Dan Clifford Atlanta, Georgia

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